Giving Thanks
by SupernaturalGeek
Summary: Part 4 of the Jean & Toby series, although can be read alone. Dean and Sam think about taking up an outstanding invitation from some old friends during the holidays. Set between 'Fresh Blood' and 'A Very Supernatural Xmas'.
1. Chapter 1

_A/N This story came about really after Pandora Jazz was sweet enough to say that she wished Dean's deal would be sorted so that the boys could revisit Jean & Toby - that was since she knew I'd only wanted to send them back once they had good news and the deal wasn't hanging over them anymore. _

_Since, however, it seems that we're going to have to wait a while for a proper resolution, I started thinking and decided maybe I could have them take Jean up on her offer of Thanksgiving dinner, even in light of their current situation. So this is set sometime between Fresh Blood and A Very Supernatural Christmas - it's going to be a few chapters, since I apparently don't know how to do a 'short' story g _

_Thanks to Pandora for giving me the prompt, and also for her kind and detailed reviews on every SN story I've written so far. They are always much appreciated…_

Sam looked up as Dean let out the fourth frustrated sigh in the last five minutes. He glanced over.

"You do realise that's not gonna make them go any faster, right?"

Dean shifted his attention from glaring at the car in front to glaring at his brother.

"Yes, thank you – I had noticed that."

"Just have a little patience would you, we'll be out of here soon enough."

"I have plenty of patience, Sam, I just don't see why everyone suddenly wants to be in this crappy little town all at the same time. We haven't moved for the last ten minutes, in case you hadn't noticed."

Sam resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

"Yeah, of course I didn't notice. It's not like you've been sighing and swearing under your breath the whole time we've been sat here."

"Well we wouldn't be sat here if you hadn't made us come into town in the first place."

"And we wouldn't have needed to if you hadn't set fire to my jacket."

"I didn't set fire to it, you left it to close to the grave."

"And you used far too much lighter fluid! It was one corpse, dude, you threw in enough of that stuff to destroy a small forest."

Dean grinned as he recalled Sam's startled yelp as his brother had scrambled back to avoid losing his eyebrows. In retrospect Sam might have a point, it had been quite a spectacular fireball. But it was still definitely partly Sam's fault for not leaving his jacket at a safe distance.

"Whatever. I just wanted to be sure that one wasn't coming back, what with all the trouble he gave us. Anyway, I still don't see why we had to replace it right now."

"Because it's November, Dean, and it's kinda cold. Besides, if we'd left earlier we'd have missed the rush but you were the one who wasn't ready to go until lunchtime."

Dean concentrated on the traffic momentarily as they moved forward all of five inches. The last thing he wanted to do was get involved in a stupid shunt and possibly have to deal with the cops.

"How was I to know it was gonna be like this? You'd think the stores were giving stuff away." he continued, after a moment.

Sam shook his head.

"It's coming up to Thanksgiving. You can't possibly have missed that, Dean."

"Yeah, cos I've been in a coma for the last two weeks – of course I haven't missed that. I still don't see why that makes the entire world suddenly feel the urge to buy every last thing on the planet."

Sam shrugged.

"It's the holidays. Which to most Americans just means more of an excuse to shop."

Whatever Dean had been about to say next was cut off as a blue suburban pulled straight out of a parking space without looking and nearly hit the front of the Impala. Dean's hand gestures clearly conveyed what he thought of that particular manoeuvre and Sam slid down in his seat, saying a silent prayer that they'd actually get out of there in one piece.

"How about you not draw quite so much attention to us?" he hissed and Dean threw him a black look.

"Hey, do you see me getting out and shooting the guy? This is me being restrained, Sam. Show a little appreciation would ya?"

Sam's expression showed exactly how much he appreciated it.

Eventually, an agonising twenty minutes later, the traffic started to space out a little and Dean was able to put his foot down. As they passed the 'Please come again soon' sign on the outskirts of the town Sam breathed a sigh of relief.

He gave Dean a few moments to calm down and relax as he enjoyed the feel of the Impala eating up the road before tentatively deciding to broach a subject that had been on his mind for the last few days.

"I was thinking."

Dean glanced at him.

"Congratulations."

"Funny. I was thinking about Thanksgiving."

That got him a slightly wary look.

"Since when have you been into celebrating Thanksgiving?"

"I'm not, not really, but I was thinking about Toby and Jean actually. Jean invited us, remember? When we last spoke to them?"

Dean did remember. They'd last visited the old couple just after the whole nightmare at Cold Oak, when they'd finally admitted to them what they did for a living and about the deal Dean had made. It had been a relief when the pair had accepted all that without question. After they'd left, when they'd actually remembered to call and check in just the one time, Jean had made them promise to visit again for Thanksgiving.

They'd both been surprised at how a chance encounter had led to them being practically adopted by this wonderful old couple and it was easy to recall the warm feeling of home that they came away with whenever they visited.

Of course, after last time, Dean had been fairly convinced he wouldn't see them again. Not with what was due to happen. He'd hoped Sam at least would visit afterwards, that perhaps they'd be able to help his brother come to terms with the inevitable. But he'd resigned himself to having said his goodbyes, even if he hadn't told them that.

Sam meanwhile had intended to return with the good news, when he'd found a way out of Dean's deal. Except that had turned out to be more difficult than he'd anticipated.

Much more difficult.

"So what do you think?" he asked, pushing that thought aside, and Dean looked at him, startled out of his own musings.

"Huh? About what?"

"About going to see them." said Sam with exaggerated patience.

Dean shifted uncomfortably.

"Come on, Sam. They're gonna have their family with them. They're not really gonna want the two of us gatecrashing the party."

Sam frowned.

"Jean invited us, it's not like we're gatecrashing."

"Yeah, but there's a difference between being polite and expecting someone to actually take you up on it months later."

"You think she was just being polite?"

Dean got an image of Jean's indignant expression in his mind and winced. She'd definitely not appreciate that particular accusation, no doubt about it.

"Ok, maybe she wasn't just being polite. But still, can you really imagine their sons and daughter being thrilled with two complete strangers turning up announced at their parents house for Thanksgiving? I'm sure we wouldn't have."

"Dad never went in for Thanksgiving."

"Stop missing the point."

Sam sighed.

"I just think it would be nice, that's all. We could do with the break and you know how welcome they always make us feel. It's too quiet over the holiday to do any jobs without drawing attention to ourselves – wouldn't Jean's cooking beat sitting in some crappy motel room with two microwave meals?"

"Of course it would. But like I said, they've probably got their family coming."

"We could ask."

Dean looked at Sam and saw his brother was pulling out all the stops, the patented starving orphan look in full swing. They were both too old for Dean to be manipulated by that look though.

Way too old.

It hadn't worked for years.

"Fine. Give Jean a call then."

Oh yeah. Definitely didn't work anymore.

Sam beamed at him as he dug out his phone and dialled their number. Dean concentrated on driving and tried to look like he wasn't listening in.

"Jean? Hey, it's Sam – Sam Winchester."

Dean didn't even have to strain to hear Jean's excited exclamation and he grinned despite himself.

Sam held the phone away from his ear for a second, to avoid being totally deafened, and chuckled as he brought it back.

"Yeah, it's good to hear your voice too. We just thought we'd check in, see how you were both doing."

Dean raised his eyebrow, impressed at his brother's subtlety. At least he wasn't coming right out and inviting themselves along unprompted.

"I know, I'm sorry – we had to change our cell phones a few weeks back. Yeah, we're both fine. Uh-huh, he's right here." he said, glancing over at Dean.

Jean said something else and Sam suddenly looked away, his smile fading.

"No, not yet. But we're still working on it."

Dean looked back at the road, guessing what Jean must have just asked.

"So, anyway – how are you and Toby?" said Sam, clearly changing the subject, and for a few moments he just nodded, throwing in the occasional 'yeah' to show he was listening.

"That's great, I'm really pleased it's all going so well. Where are we? Uh, I'm not sure actually. We're driving right now. No, I don't think we're too far – why?"

He listened and Dean saw him smile.

"Of course we remember. Aren't your family coming though?"

Sam's eyes suddenly appeared suspiciously bright.

"Right. That's sweet of you to say, thank you. We really wouldn't want to intrude though."

Dean heard Jean's voice rise as she obviously denied there would be any kind of intrusion.

"You're really sure? Hang on, let me check with him."

Sam looked up and Dean wondered why he was even bothering. From the moment he'd agreed to Sam calling them it was obvious they'd be heading there for the holiday. He wasn't sure whether to be pleased or apprehensive.

"Dean?"

He realised Sam was waiting for an answer and so nodded, rolling his eyes as Sam's face literally lit up.

"He says yes. Ok, great. We'll be stopping somewhere for the night soon so we'll work out where we are and let you know when we can get there. I know – we're looking forward to it too. Ok, I'll talk to you later. Bye."

As Sam hung up he felt a stir of excitement inside. He'd never really been keen on the holidays as a child, finding that they simply reminded him of the normal life they were missing. But he was looking forward to seeing Jean and Toby again, and a few days spent in the company of family – even if it wasn't technically theirs – was something they could both do with right now.

He looked up and saw Dean was obviously waiting to hear what Jean had said.

"She said they won't hear of us not coming and that they can't wait to see us. Apparently she'd been trying to call for the last week but it was your old number she had."

"Did she say if their family would be there?" Dean asked, trying to appear casual. Sam nodded.

"Yeah, their two sons will be but their daughter is spending it with her in-laws and seeing them at Christmas."

Dean felt a stab of uncertainty. He could turn on the charm and keep up the act when it was strangers, but the reality was he was never all that comfortable meeting new people especially when he was supposed to be himself. Jean and Toby knew them, knew their secrets, but their sons would probably be told the line they'd used at first about being private detectives. He was sure they were nice people, but that didn't make him any less nervous.

"Hey, come on – it'll be fun. With Jean and Toby for parents I'm sure they're really nice. Besides, Jean says we're family too. She said she'll come find us herself if we didn't show up."

Dean had to grin, knowing full well she probably would do just that. Jean may have been small but she was definitely feisty.

"It really will be fine, Dean."

He looked at Sam and saw that his brother somehow knew exactly why he wasn't as excited about this as Sam was. Their conversation a few weeks previous came back to him, Sam's heartfelt expression as he'd told Dean he knew him better than anyone else in the entire world. Annoyingly, he was right.

Dean still hadn't quite decided if that was a good thing or not.

He coughed, uncomfortable under Sam's sympathetic scrutiny.

"Ok, whatever. It's gonna be wonderful. I hope you realise one thing though."

"What's that?"

"We're gonna have to stop off on the way and do some actual shopping now."

Sam winced. Maybe this hadn't been quite such a good idea after all.


	2. Chapter 2

"I'm still not sure this is a good idea."

Sam bit his tongue. Dean had been driving him crazy for the last two days – first going on about Jean and Toby's sons not being happy to share their Thanksgiving with strangers, then dragging Sam out of bed at dawn that morning to go and look for something to get the couple, and finally having zero tolerance with the hundreds of other shoppers they'd encountered doing the exact same thing in the town they'd stopped at on the way.

Sam reflected it had been a good job the Impala and it's trunk of weapons had been parked too far away for Dean to reach.

Although it wasn't really traditional to exchange gifts – not that they'd really had a traditional Thanksgiving before anyway come to think of it – they still wanted to get the couple something, since they wouldn't see them at Christmas. Plus they wanted to say a small thank you, for everything they'd already done for them. In the end they'd gone for something simple, a wooden carving of a golden eagle in flight. It had caught both their attention when they'd walked past it in the window, the detail on it making it look almost real. They didn't really know Jean and Toby well enough – despite their closeness – to go for something too personal but they'd agreed anyone would like such a fantastic piece of craftsmanship. It hadn't been that expensive, which was fortunate since Sam had insisted they pay for it 'properly', and the store had wrapped it for them. They'd also picked up some wine, since they didn't want to turn up for dinner totally empty handed, and after a quick stop at a diner for some breakfast they'd headed for the house.

Dean had seemed to get more nervous the nearer they got though, and Sam was starting to wonder if the whole thing had been a good idea. He knew Dean was, despite appearances, pretty shy when it came to really getting to know people and he could easily tell his brother was worried about what the couple's sons would think of them. The horrible thought was in the back of his mind that this might well be their last Thanksgiving, and he suddenly wanted it to be perfect. He'd been deliberately avoiding making a big deal of any of the special occasions, not wanting to even acknowledge Dean's resigned acceptance of his fate, but this was different somehow. It was hard enough for his brother to really trust people, but he knew Dean had taken to Jean and Toby as much as he had. He didn't want that to be spoiled by this visit, and now he realised he was getting as nervous as Dean was.

"What do you think they told them about us?"

Dean's voice interrupted Sam's thoughts and he turned to look at him.

"What?"

Dean glanced across.

"What am I, talking to myself here? I said what do you think they've told them – about us."

"Probably the truth. Minus the demon hunting part I'm guessing. We can check when we arrive, don't worry."

"I'm not worried."

"Right."

Dean took the turn off that led to Toby and Jean's and deliberately tried to relax. Sam was right of course, he was worried. And clearly doing a pretty bad job of hiding it. He found himself wishing it would be just the four of them like it had been before, but he could hardly begrudge the couple being visited by their sons and grandchildren. It was just different, knowing there was going to be strangers there. Having to watch what was said. He wondered if the sons were successful and could picture them being seriously unimpressed by his and Sam's lifestyle. He glanced down at the shirt he was wearing and for the first time wondered if it was good enough.

"You ok?"

He realised Sam had been watching him and looked back up at the road again.

"Of course I'm ok."

Sam didn't push it. Sometimes with Dean it was best to let him work stuff out by himself, or at least wait until he was ready to talk. That was the other reason he wanted to visit here – he knew Toby in particular seemed to have a way of getting his brother to open up and he was hoping that perhaps he could remind Dean that he was supposed to be fighting. That giving up and accepting his fate wasn't saving Sam but instead condemning him to something worse than death. The arguments they kept having simply took them in circles, and he was tired of fighting. Their conversation while waiting for Gordon to show up had seemed to help a little, but there was a long way to go. Sam was kind of pinning his hopes on this trip at least going partway to fixing that.

"We're here."

Sam looked out of the window as Dean carefully turned into the driveway that led down to Jean and Toby's. It looked just like it always did and he felt somehow relieved that certain things didn't seem to change, even if the rest of their lives were so unpredictable.

"No other cars. Maybe we're early." said Dean and Sam nodded.

"I think I remember Jean saying the boys lived pretty near, they might be just coming for the day tomorrow."

Before Dean could answer the front door opened and Jean appeared, wiping her hands on the apron she was wearing with a huge smile on her face.

Dean pulled up next to the house and switched the engine off, letting Sam get out first.

"Oh it is so good to see you boys!" she exclaimed, just as she always did, grabbing hold of Sam and squeezing him so hard he almost saw stars.

"It's good to see you too." he managed to wheeze, hoping she was gonna let go before he passed out.

Seeing Dean still standing by the other side of the car Jean did let go of Sam and shook her head.

"Well are you going to make me come all the way over there?" she said and Dean ducked his head, walking slowly round the car.

"Hey Jean." he said softly, feeling conflicting emotions now he was here again.

Jean didn't wait for him to reach her, taking a few steps forward and putting her arms round him tightly.

"We've missed you." she whispered, blinking back tears.

She'd promised herself she wouldn't do this, that she'd be strong for them just as she had when they'd told her and Toby the truth last time. It was just hard now they were here and she could see the strain on their faces, now she knew they still hadn't found a way out of Dean's deal.

Dean let her hold him, taking comfort in the embrace. He didn't usually allow himself this, certainly he and Sam weren't exactly the hugging types, but with Jean it somehow seemed ok. Especially since he could almost convince himself he was doing for her and not himself.

Pulling herself together Jean stepped back, smiling up at Dean. Suddenly she whacked him on the arm, not gently, and he raised his eyebrows.

"Ow – what was that for?" he said and she gave him a stern look.

"For not calling and for not letting us know you changed your number. Toby and I were frantic you know, thinking the worst had happened."

Dean looked guilty and glanced over at Sam for help.

"We're sorry, Jean, we only just changed the number and so much was happening we just didn't think." said Sam, seeing the plea and stepping in to take some of the heat.

"Well next time make sure you remember to let us know. We worry about you." she said, taking the sting out of the admonition.

Dean gave her a contrite smile.

"We will. Sorry." he said and she put her arm through his as they walked over to where Sam stood.

"Well, don't let's stand out here in the cold – I've just finished baking some cookies and I can have some coffee ready in just a moment. Toby's gone to fetch the meat for tomorrow but he'll be back soon." she said, linking her other arm through Sam's and leading them up the steps.

Inside the place looked as it always did, and they both found themselves relaxing almost instinctively despite their initial nerves.

Following Jean into the kitchen Dean took a deep breath and grinned appreciatively at the wonderful smells.

"I'd forgotten just how good your cooking smells." he said and Jean glanced at him over her shoulder.

"You'd remember if you visited more often." she said, dryly, and Sam winced.

"You walked into that one." he said with a smirk and Dean nudged him.

"Shut up."

They both sat down at the table, watching Jean as she filled the coffee machine and carried over three mugs and a plate of biscuits.

"Help yourselves." she said, putting them on the table.

Dean didn't need telling twice and picked one up, blowing on it a little when it burnt his fingers. Sam shook his head at how much like a kid Dean looked and decided to wait for them to cool down some before taking one.

"So are your sons arriving today?" he said, keeping his tone casual. Dean tensed a little but said nothing, still chewing on his biscuit.

Jean came over with a jug of cream and the sugar bowl, shaking her head.

"No, they're not that far so they'll be arriving in the morning and only staying for the day. It's easier for them that way, especially with the baby."

"Baby?" said Dean, now he'd finished chewing, and she nodded her face lighting up.

"Yes, Lori is only two months old. She's a sweetheart though, Toby just dotes on her. Not that he doesn't dote on the others too of course." she added.

"How many people will there be?" said Sam.

"Oh, lets see – well, as you know, there's Chris and his wife Andrea, and their two boys, Thomas and Christopher. Thomas is eight now and Christopher is five. Then Nathan and Jenny, who are the proud parents of little Lori. She's their first. So that'll be eight adults and the three children, although the two boys will most likely want to be outside, especially if it snows. They've forecast some for tomorrow."

Dean nodded.

"Sounds great." he said, seeing Sam watching him out of the corner of his eye. "Didn't you say Nathan was the oldest?"

Jean laughed.

"Yes, Nathan is, but Chris married young. He was only 25, and they had Thomas pretty much straight away. Nathan took a little longer to settle down, he and Jenny have only been married two years. There's three years between the boys, and two between Chris and Nicola. It's a shame you won't get to meet her but they alternate between us and Marcus's family for the holidays."

The coffee now ready, she brought it over pulling out a chair and sitting down between the two of them. Waving off Dean's help she poured it out and sat back, giving both of them an appraising look.

"So are you going to tell me what's been happening with you two?" she said and Dean quickly took a sip of coffee, leaving it to Sam to answer and getting a glare in return.

"Uh, not much. We've been hunting, same as usual. And we're still looking into fixing the other thing." he said, avoiding talking about the deal specifically.

Dean was about to say something about that then caught Jean's eye and changed his mind. He'd been over it with Sam enough times, he really didn't want to have to explain to Jean why it was best for him to just accept what was going to happen. Last time they'd been here he'd been caught up in what had happened still, and he'd allowed himself to be talked into the idea it could be fixed. Now he knew different, but he also knew he'd have as much success getting Jean to accept that as he'd had with Sam so far.

"You've been taking care of yourselves?" she asked and Dean stepped in this time before Sam could answer.

"Of course. We always do." he said. Sam spluttered and Dean narrowed his gaze as he looked at him.

"Are you ok?" said Jean, patting Sam on the back, and Sam coughed a couple of times before giving her a quick smile.

"Yeah, just went down the wrong way." he said, giving Dean a look that said it was only for Jean's sake he wasn't going to point out what his brother's version of taking care of himself entailed.

Just then they heard a truck pulling up at the side of the house.

"Ah, here's Toby." said Jean, putting her coffee down and getting up. She opened the back door and went out to meet him, leaving the boys alone in the kitchen.

"What the hell was that little coughing fit about?" demanded Dean, as soon as she was out of earshot, and Sam raised his eyebrows.

"What do you think? 'We've been taking care of ourselves'? Are you kidding?"

"What?"

"You know what. Your flair for the kamikaze wouldn't exactly count as doing that, Dean."

Dean shook his head.

"Oh come on, don't start that again. I didn't go after Gordon alone, did I?"

"No, only because I begged you not to. Since we're on the subject, maybe you could explain to Jean and Toby why it's such a good idea that I just 'let go'?" he said, getting drawn into the argument despite himself.

"Leave them out of this, Sam. This is our problem, not theirs." said Dean, feeling his defences rise.

"Of course it's their problem! They happen to care about you too, just like me. Just like Bobby. The only one who doesn't seem to care about this is you."

"Drop it, Sam."

The tone of voice was warning enough even without the look that accompanied it. Sam was saved from replying by the sound of the door opening and Toby came in carrying several packages, Jean following behind him. He smiled when he saw them.

"Hey, boys. Good to see you both." he said, putting the packages down on the side and walking over to shake hands with both of them.

"You too. Thanks for inviting us." said Dean, all smiles as if he and Sam hadn't been fighting seconds before.

Toby waved away the thanks.

"Like Jean told you on the phone, you two are practically family now. It'll be nice to have your company."

He went and got himself a mug, pouring out some coffee and picking up one of the biscuits. He took a bite as he sat down, noticing just as Jean had how tired they both looked.

"So, been busy?" he asked and Dean shrugged.

"No more than usual. Had a bit of a run in with some vampires the other week but we took care of it."

Sam silently marvelled at Dean's ability for understatement while Toby didn't bat an eyelid at the mention of vampires, as if they were every day occurrences. He knew for the Winchesters they were.

"I see the car's looking good as ever." he said and Dean gave him a genuine smile.

"Of course." he said and Sam rolled his eyes.

"Don't get him started, you know what he's like." he said, moving his leg out of the way when Dean tried to kick him and making Toby chuckle.

"Still no appreciation of my baby, as you can see." said Dean. "I tried to teach him some stuff the other week but he'd rather keep those girly hands of his nice and clean."

"Hilarious. Just cos we don't all want to walk around covered in engine oil." retorted Sam and Toby grinned at them.

"Damn, I'd forgotten just how entertaining you boys are. You're gonna get on just fine with Chris and Nate, they can get going just the same at times." he said.

"Now no one is going to be 'getting going'. This is the holidays and I won't have any arguing, understand?" said Jean, firmly.

Dean and Sam glanced at each other then across at her.

"Yes, ma'am." they said, at exactly the same time. Jean shook her head at their antics and went back to unpacking the meat Toby had brought back.

"Why don't you take them outside and show them the work you've been doing in the garden?" she said and Toby smirked.

"She means why don't we get out of her hair so she can get on with the preparations." he whispered, just loud enough for Jean to hear him. She raised her eyebrows at him and he quickly stood, ushering Dean and Sam to their feet.

"Come on, 'fore she starts chasing us out with that rolling pin of hers." he said, winking at Jean as they walked past. Jean's lips twitched and she ducked her head to hide her amusement.

"I'll call you when lunch is ready." she said as Toby closed the door and Dean groaned.

"We're gonna leave here a stone heavier again, aren't we?"

Sam grinned at him.

"Like that usually bothers you."

Outside he showed them the new vegetable plot he'd recently finished digging.

"This means we can get by with only having to go into town every few weeks, what with all the stuff Jean already makes herself."

Dean shook his head.

"You guys are practically self-sufficient. Don't you feel like taking it easy now?"

Toby raised his eyebrows.

"What do you mean, now?"

"Well, with you being. I mean, you and Jean are. What I meant was – feel free to step in anytime, Sammy." said Dean, mentally throwing down the shovel and looking for a way out of the hole.

"No, that's ok – you seem to be doing well enough on your own." came the amused reply.

Toby took pity on Dean and allowed the grin that had been threatening to show.

"I know what you meant. Although I wouldn't say that in front of Jean, mind you. Truth is both of us have worked all our lives. Can't see any good reason to quit just we got a little older."

"You sound like Bobby." said Sam and Dean nodded.

"Yeah, he'll be hunting with a zimmer frame if it comes to it."

"Who's Bobby?" asked Toby.

"He's sort of an uncle. We called him that when we were kids, but he's not actually related. He was a friend of our Dad's, a hunter too. You'd like him." said Sam.

"I'm sure we would. You should bring him along sometime."

Dean glanced at Sam but said nothing. It wasn't really the right moment to bring up the fact he was treating this as his last visit.

If there would ever be a right moment to mention that.

Toby had just finished showing them the wooden crib he'd made for their youngest grandchild, for Christmas, when they heard Jean calling them. Despite Dean's protest earlier he tucked into the wonderful lunch Jean had laid out for them with as much enthusiasm as he usually did. Sam shook his head but he had to admit Jean's cooking really was something else.

Jean still had some jobs to finish before the next day and, having refused any help, she shooed them out of the kitchen with instructions to find something useful to do. Toby offered to take them down to the river, since it was a nice afternoon, to see if they could maybe catch a few fish to add to the menu. Neither of them could ever remember really fishing before so, surprisingly, they found themselves agreeing.

Thirty minutes later they were sat on the riverbank, rods in hand, just listening to the sounds of the forest. Dean usually hated the great outdoors but he had to admit when you had time to sit and stare – as opposed to being chased or mauled by whatever they were hunting at the time – it had its own sense of peace. He watched as Toby expertly launched his line, having helped them with theirs, and let out a contented sigh. He heard Sam snigger and turned to look at him.

"Something funny?"

Sam grinned.

"No, just watching you bonding with nature, that's all. Never thought I'd see the day."

"Yeah, well, this is different." said Dean, defensively, and Sam grinned even more.

"Uh-huh. How exactly?"

"Well, nothing's trying to kill us for a start. Kinda takes the fun out of the whole thing, having to avoid getting eaten."

Toby chuckled, wondering what anyone else would think if they heard them talking about such things.

"Whatever. I'm just gonna remember this, next time you're complaining about hiking through a forest."

"Ok, now that is totally different. You see me hiking? This, this is relaxing. Nice, even. Hiking is just wrong. I said it before, Sam, who the hell want's to go to all that effort just to look at a bunch of trees?"

Sam gave up, sitting back against the rock he was leaning on and feeling himself relax too. It was nice, not having anywhere to rush off to or anything to hunt. Sitting here like this, with Toby, felt like the kind of day out you'd have with your Grandfather. Something else he and Dean had never experienced, till now.

It was surprising how fast the afternoon passed. None of them felt any need for conversation, instead enjoying the peaceful sounds of the river.

Excellent hunters they may have been, but clearly fishing wasn't their forte since when Toby declared it was time to head back he was the only one who'd caught anything. They didn't really mind though. It had been the experience that counted.

Back at the house Jean had finished all her preparations and was happy to create another wonderful meal out of the fish Toby brought her and some potatoes, dug out of the garden that morning. They'd talked about unimportant stuff over dinner, both of them happy enough to let Jean and Toby make most of the conversation. The couple were aware of that and also that there were clearly a lot of things both boys weren't keen to discuss right now, but they let them be.

They'd talk when they were ready.

It was still fairly early when Dean started yawning but what with their last encounter with Gordon, it had been a long few weeks.

"Why don't you two head on up? Your room's all ready." said Jean as she watched Dean yawn for the third time in as many minutes.

Dean smiled at the way they called it 'their' room. It was one of the things he always liked about coming here.

"It's no reflection on you guys, I swear, we've just had a busy month." he said and Sam nodded.

Toby waved away the apology.

"Don't worry about it. You both look done in. We'll see you in the morning."

Dean went and got their bags out of the car then followed Sam upstairs. They both managed to stay awake just long enough to shower and collapse into the wonderfully comfortable beds.

"I swear, we have to take these with us." sighed Dean happily, as he pulled the blankets up and sank into the pillows.

Sam looked across, just able to make him out in the dark.

"I think you'd have a little trouble fitting these in the trunk, Dean." he said dryly.

"Fine, then we'll just stay here instead. I'm sure we could find something to hunt close enough to come back every evening."

It was a nice thought. Sam considered what it would actually be like, having a real home to come back to at the end of each day. For them, home was wherever they both were, but it really would be nice for it to be somewhere like this instead of a succession of motel rooms.

Still. There was nothing they could do about that and at least being together made the rest of it bearable.

He refused to think what it would be like going back to a motel room alone every day.

"Sam?"

He jumped a little, having got lost in the slightly maudlin thoughts.

"Yeah?"

"Everything ok over there?"

He smiled to himself at the fact Dean had picked up on his mood change, even in the dark.

"Yeah, just drifting off that's all."

"Alright." said Dean, not entirely convinced. "Night, then."

"Goodnight."


	3. Chapter 3

When Dean woke up the next morning he was pleasantly surprised to find it felt like he'd had a really good sleep. He couldn't remember the last time that had happened, certainly it hadn't been since the deal. Most nights he dreamt vividly, spending his time either running from something or trying to find someone. He usually woke feeling tireder than when he'd gone to bed, but today he couldn't really remember dreaming at all and felt wide awake.

Glancing across at the other bed he saw Sam was still asleep so he got up quietly and went to the bathroom. When he went downstairs, Toby was in his customary place at the table, looking over the previous day's paper.

"Coffee's just fresh." he said, without looking up, and Dean grinned.

"Thanks. You want a refill?" he said and Toby nodded, handing Dean his mug without looking away from the article he was reading.

Dean filled Toby's mug and got one for himself, taking both over to the table and pulling out the chair opposite the older man to sit down. He enjoyed the comfortable silence for a moment, blowing on his coffee to cool it before he took a sip. After a few minutes Toby finished reading and put the paper down, picking up his own mug as he looked over at Dean.

"You look better." he said candidly and Dean raised an eyebrow.

"I'm not sure how to take that." he said, a hint of amusement on his face. Toby shrugged.

"Just meant you were looking tired yesterday, is all. You going to deny it?"

Dean found himself suddenly fascinated by the table top, idly noticing the layers of marks on the scrubbed surface. He wondered how many people had sat at that table, how many family dinners and hours spent doing homework. It must be nice, he reflected, to have something with that many memories attached to it. The closest he and Sam had was the Impala.

"Well?"

He looked up again, seeing Toby waiting patiently. He tried not to look too defensive.

"I was a little tired, yeah. It's hard to get a regular nights sleep in our job, you know that."

Toby wasn't surprised by the answer but they had time yet before either Jean or Sam were likely to surface and he did have previous experience at getting this young man to say what was really on his mind. He took another sip of coffee and settled into his chair more comfortably.

"Not just the job though, is it. Not now. You're thinking about this deal of yours."

Dean silently cursed the fact that there was yet another person who seemed to see more than he was comfortable with. He really was off his game these days.

"Sometimes, yeah. It's hard not to think about it, especially with Sam going on about finding a way out all the time."

"And you don't want him to."

Dean looked up at him.

"What? Bring it up all the time?"

"No, find a way out for you."

Dean sighed and leaned forward, hunching over his mug and absorbing the warmth from it to combat the sudden chill that had settled inside.

"It's not that simple."

"Then explain it to me."

Dean was silent for a moment, but Toby knew he'd reply when he was ready.

"There is no way out of this, Toby. Not without undoing the deal and having Sam die again. Which is not an option."

Toby flinched, glad that Dean wasn't looking at him to see the reaction.

"Are you certain about that?" he said, calmly, and Dean glanced up then back at the table.

"Not certain, no, but I'm pretty sure. I'm not going to risk it, even if there's the slightest chance. I can't."

"And what about Sam – does he know this?"

Dean nodded.

"Yeah, but he's going ahead anyway. I've tried everything, but he just won't quit. Honestly, I don't know what to do."

"There's probably nothing you can do. Think about it, would you quit if the circumstances were the other way around?"

"That's not the point."

"Then what is? I don't mean to have a go, but you gotta look at this from Sam's point of view. You're his brother, Dean. He's not going to be able to come to terms with losing you, no matter what the risk."

Dean felt the same stab of guilt that he'd been getting for months, ever since Sam had started going all out to find a way to save him. When it had first happened he'd been so relieved to see Sam alive, so touched by what his brother had said to him, that he'd actually dared to hope maybe it was possible. But the longer time went on and the more he thought about it, the less likely it seemed that it could be done without Sam paying the price. But it wasn't making it any easier, watching his brother go through it all.

"I know that, and I feel bad, I really do. But I can't say I'm sorry for what I did, I just can't. Maybe it was selfish, but I needed him alive. And he can get through this, he's stronger than he thinks."

Toby gave him a sad look.

"It's not about him being strong though, is it? You said yourself that you couldn't live with Sam dead. Why do you think he doesn't feel the same?"

Dean shifted uncomfortably.

"I'm not saying he doesn't care, I know he does. But I honestly don't believe that he won't be able to get past this. He survived when he went off to college, and we didn't even talk for two years then. He'll be ok."

"This is different though. This is final. And he's got the knowledge of where you'll be to contend with. I know you don't mean to do it, but maybe you're not giving Sam enough credit here. You're basically coming out and saying that he doesn't care about you as much as you care about him."

"I'm not!" protested Dean and Toby shrugged.

"Aren't you?"

Dean thought about it and realised suddenly that could be exactly what he was saying. It wasn't what he believed though. Of course it wasn't.

Was it?

Bobby's face suddenly came to mind, the look in his eye when he'd berated Dean for thinking his life only meant something if it saved Sam. He kept telling himself that wasn't what this was about, that he was plenty secure in how much his brother and John cared about him.

But was that really the truth?

He sighed. This was why he hated talking about things. You just ended up feeling worse than you had before you started.

Toby sensed Dean's guilt and pain, and sat forward fixing him with a compassionate look.

"I'm not trying to make you feel bad, I'm just trying to get you to understand why it is Sam's not backing down on this one. Jean and I could see from the first time we meet you how close you boys are, so we understand why you did what you did and we don't condemn you for it. Nor does Sam, I reckon, not really. But you have to understand why he can't just let go. And maybe you have to stop trying to force him to."

"But I can't let him risk his life for this."

"The way you did for him? Shouldn't that be his choice? Look at it this way, you keep pushing at each other then you're gonna do more damage than anyone or anything else could. You'll end up driving yourselves apart and I don't reckon you or Sam could live with that either."

Dean looked up at him, showing a vulnerability he usually kept hidden from everyone.

"Of course not. But the truth is, I'm tired. I'm so tired of all this. Fighting and losing people. Doing my best and it never being enough. Honestly? The idea of moving on, maybe it's a relief. I'm not saying I'm not scared about where I'm going, of course I am, but part of me just wants to stop. This is all I've ever known, all Sam's ever known. Maybe when this is over he can go get that normal life he's always wanted. He'll have nothing holding him back."

"You think that's what you do?"

Dean didn't answer.

"Dean, I get that you need a break from all this and I don't blame you. I reckon no one deserves it more. But you can't sugar coat where it is you're actually going and you can't truly believe that Sam will be happy in that normal life without you there with him. You know deep down, that's just not true."

"I wish it was."

Toby got up and rested his hand on Dean's shoulder for a moment. He wished more than anything he had answers for the young man in front of him, but there were none. At least not any that Dean or Sam could live with right now.

He went over to the other side of the kitchen and emptied the coffee machine, refilling it since Jean and Sam would be up soon. It also gave Dean a moment to himself, to try and get a handle on the emotions that were swirling too close to the surface.

He'd half hoped that coming here might help, that perhaps they'd somehow leave with Sam having accepted everything and him feeling more at peace. But he could see that wasn't going to be the case and in reality, he wasn't all that surprised. He knew Toby was right, Sam wasn't going to let go of this, and he also knew that he couldn't let Sam jeopardise everything he'd worked so hard for.

It was a total Catch-22 position.

Maybe Toby's answer really was the only one they had right now - to stop pushing.

Dean really didn't want Sam's last memories of him to be of the two them fighting night and day, just as he didn't want that to be the final memory he took with him. Perhaps they simply did have to just agree to disagree, and try to take each day as it came. They had enough to deal with without being at each other's throats all the time. If he backed off a little hopefully Sam would too, and at the very least they could go back to just being brothers again.

Which was, if their most recent conversation was anything to go by, what Sam seemed to want too.

With perfect timing Dean suddenly heard footsteps on the stairs and he turned round as the door opened, the subject of their conversation walking in with a yawn.

"Morning, Sam." he said and Sam gave him a quick smile.

"Morning. Hey Toby." he said, sitting down next to Dean.

"Sam. Coffee?" said Toby, taking Dean's lead and acting like they hadn't just been talking about anything deeper than the latest sports scores.

"Yes, please. You're up early." Sam said, directing the last part at Dean.

"Yeah, well you know how good those beds are. Best sleep I've had since the last time we were here."

"Me too." Sam admitted.

He watched as Dean took his and Toby's mugs across for refills, sensing that everything wasn't quite as rosy as Dean was so keen to make it appear. He wondered if Toby had been talking to him about their situation and made a note to try and ask him later, if he got the chance. Maybe someone else would have more luck getting Dean to start fighting than he'd had so far.

"So when do you think your sons will arrive?" said Dean as he carried over two fresh coffees, handing one to Sam.

"I reckon they'll be here by 9:00. They know their Mom likes to make the most of the day. Speaking of which, I'll go take this up to her and see if there's anything needs doing. Although she'll probably just want us to keep out of her way." he said with a grin.

Alone in the kitchen Dean sensed Sam watching him and looked up.

"What?"

"Nothing. Just wondering what you and Toby were talking about."

"The Redsox."

"Very funny. Would it kill you to give a straight answer for once?"

Dean considered the question.

"I dunno, but do think we should risk it?"

Sam look unamused and drank some of his coffee.

"Fine, don't tell me. I just hope he was talking some sense into you."

Dean wisely kept quiet in light of his recent conclusions.

"So you ready to meet the family?" he said, changing the subject, and Sam looked a little apprehensive.

"I guess."

"Don't look so worried, it'll be fine." said Dean, not sure who he was trying to convince the most.

They both looked up as Toby came back in.

"Jean'll be down in just a minute. I don't suppose you boys would mind chopping some extra wood for me, before breakfast? They reckon it's gonna get colder and I don't want to be caught short."

"Of course, no problem." said Dean, glad to have something to do to help.

"Great. I'm going to go check on a neighbour of ours, Mrs Wilson. She lives on her own and we like to make sure she's doing ok. Jean made her some dinner for today, so I need to take that over anyway." Toby said, going to the fridge and pulling out several containers.

"That's nice of you. You sure it's just the wood you need sorting out?" said Sam and Toby nodded.

"Yeah, that'll do it. Everything else is taken care of. Dean, you remember where everything is?" he said and Dean nodded.

"Alright then. I'll see you boys in a little while."

They stood up as Toby left, rinsing their mugs in the sink and grabbing their jackets on the way out.

They shivered a little as they headed for the shed. Toby had been right about the temperature dropping.

"You think it really will snow today? It'd be kinda early." said Dean, looking up at the clouds, and Sam smirked.

"Why, you after making a demon snowman again?"

Dean looked over his shoulder and grinned.

"Hey, you were right there with me so don't go acting all mature. Besides, that was an awesome snowman."

"Of course it was. Maybe Jean & Toby have got a sled they could let you play with later as well."

Dean ignored him, unlocking the shed and picking up the axe.

"I'll chop, you stack." he said and Sam rolled his eyes.

"How did I know I'd get stuck with the heavy lifting?"

"Well, you have got the old psychic mojo going on. Maybe we could rent you out, get a little extra money for ourselves."

"How about you get on with this before I find something else to do with that axe."

Dean just grinned as he picked up the first log and swung the blade.


	4. Chapter 4

They'd just finished chopping the last of the logs, or in Sam's case stacking, when they heard a car pulling up. Recognising it wasn't Toby's truck they looked at each other, apprehensively.

Dean was the first to move.

"Come on. No point us hiding out here like idiots." he said, walking over to the shed to put the axe back and locking it behind him.

He brushed his hands on his jeans and straightened his shirt, feeling slightly relieved and amused when he caught Sam doing the same. Taking a deep breath he strode towards the back door, putting on his usual air of confidence.

He opened it just as Jean entered the kitchen from the opposite side, followed by a brown haired woman and a guy who was slightly blonder. Both of them looked up at Dean and Sam with smiles.

"Ah, there you are – the boys were just helping your Dad by chopping the last of that wood. This is our son, Chris, and his wife Andrea" Jean said.

Chris stepped forward, holding out his hand.

"Hey, nice to meet you. Mom's told us a lot about you." he said, his manner open and friendly.

"Likewise." said Dean, shaking his hand then Andrea's, and watching Sam do the same.

"So you're Dean, right?" said Chris and Dean nodded.

"That your car out there? Cos she's a beauty."

Dean decided he liked the guy already.

"Yeah, she is, isn't she?" he said and Sam held up his hands.

"Please don't get him started or we'll be here till Christmas." he said and Chris laughed.

"You sound like my brother. He doesn't know anything about cars other than how to drive one."

Dean shook his head.

"Sounds like someone else I know." he said.

"Annoying, isn't it?" said Chris, with a grin.

Sam looked at Jean.

"Nathan is coming too, right?" he said and Jean laughed, putting her hand on his arm.

"Oh yes, he'll be here soon."

"Don't tell me you're planning on comparing stories about how hard done by you are? It's not our fault if we can't get you to appreciate fine mechanics, right?" Dean said and Chris nodded.

"Absolutely."

Andrea chuckled at the banter, easily able to see why her in-laws had taken so quickly to these two young men.

"I'd hide the breakables, Jean, I can see war breaking out if we're not careful." she said and Jean put on a stern expression.

"There'll be no fighting in this house, not on Thanksgiving." she said, the twinkle in her eye giving away her amusement.

Just then they heard the sound of Toby's truck arriving back. They was the sound of giggling then the back door opened and two young boys ran in, shrieking, followed by Toby who was doing an impression of a monster.

Both boys stopped short when they saw the two strangers and stared, wide eyed, the youngest automatically hiding behind his brother. Dean fought the urge to smile, remembering a time when Sam used to do the exact same thing.

Toby also straightened up, looking innocent as Jean looked at him with raised eyebrows.

"I swear I wonder sometimes exactly who's the child." she said and Toby coughed, pretending not to know what she meant.

Dean meanwhile crouched down so he was eye level with the kids, giving them his most friendly smile.

"Hey, there. Christopher and Thomas, right?" he said and the oldest boy nodded, still looking wary.

"I'm Dean, and this is my brother Sam." he said, pointing behind him at Sam who gave them a wave. "We're friends of your Grandparents."

The boys seemed to consider this and looked past them to their parents who both nodded and smiled. Seeming to come to a decision the oldest boy stood up straighter, pulling his brother round so he was standing next to him.

"You're tall." he said to Sam, gravely, and Sam smiled at him.

"I'm sure you will be too, one day. And so will Dean." he said and was rewarded with a dirty look from his brother.

Thomas didn't get the joke of course, but he'd obviously decided they were no threat and turned his attention to his Grandma.

"Dad said you'd have cookies." he said and Jean looked over at her eldest.

"Oh he did, did he?"

Chris looked nonchalant.

"I might have mentioned it."

"Yes, about a million times." said Andrea.

Shaking her head Jean went over to the side and brought over a plate of chocolate chip cookies. She bent down to Thomas, who spent a long time choosing just the right one, then she gave one to Christopher, who was still watching Dean and Sam with wide eyes.

Straightening, she offered the plate to Dean, then Sam and finally Chris.

"Why don't you all go through to the other room? I need to make a start on breakfast or we won't be done before it's lunchtime." she said.

"Can we help with anything?" said Dean and Jean shook her head.

"No, you go on. I have everything covered." she said.

They filed into the front room, spreading out on the various chairs and couches. Toby had brought down extra chairs from the loft the night before, since there was going to be so many of them, but the kids were happy to sit on the floor anyway.

"So, you two are private detectives, that right?" said Chris and Dean nodded.

"Yeah, that's right. Family business actually."

"Must be interesting." said Andrea and somehow they managed to keep straight faces.

"It has it's moments." said Sam.

Just then there was the sound of a second car pulling up. Toby stood and walked over to the front door, opening it wide.

"We thought you weren't coming." he said teasingly and they heard a woman's voice.

"Well you know what your son is like, we'd have been here an hour ago 'cept someone wasn't ready."

"Why is it always my fault?" said a man's voice, indignantly, and Chris laughed.

"He says that like he's not been late for everything his entire life. The only reason he was on time for their wedding was because we told him it was an hour earlier than it actually was."

Dean and Sam grinned.

They stood up as the new arrivals came in. A pretty woman with long blonde hair held her hand out as she saw them.

"You must be Dean and Sam – I'm Jenny." she said and they shook her hand politely. She moved past them to hug Andrea and Chris.

"You're looking well." said Andrea and Jenny gave her a rueful look.

"It's just good make up. Underneath this I look like a zombie, that little madam has yet to sleep through one whole night." she said, gesturing to the baby being held by her husband.

"She's right, you wouldn't think something so small could make so much noise." said Nathan, handing the baby carefully over to her doting Grandfather and turning to give Dean and Sam a welcoming smile.

"Sorry, we tend to cause chaos wherever we go right now. I'm Nate" he said and they went through the handshaking motions for the final time.

"Dean - this is my brother, Sam."

"Nice to meet you." said Nathan, turning his attention to Chris and Andrea and hugging them both.

Everyone sat down again, Toby taking Lori through to see her Grandma, followed by the two young boys.

"So you're finally understanding what I told you about kissing goodbye to sleep for the next two years?" said Chris to his brother and Nathan rolled his eyes.

"Yes, thank you – I thought you were exaggerating."

"Oh but you wouldn't change a thing, admit it." said Andrea and he shrugged.

"Actually I keep saying to Jen we should have just gone with a dog but she's having none of it."

Jenny shared an exasperated look with her sister in law and turned to Dean and Sam.

"You two don't have kids, do you?"

"No, definitely not." said Dean, ignoring the image of Ben that flashed into his mind momentarily. "Taking care of Sammy here is more than enough for me."

"Excuse my brother, he thinks he's funny." said Sam, elbowing Dean, and Nathan laughed.

"I know how you feel. Chris has the same affliction."

Chris looked at Dean.

"See? Now they're going to gang up on us."

"Yeah, but I don't reckon we've got anything to worry about." said Dean and Chris nodded.

"True."

"I think I'm gonna go join the adult conversation in the kitchen – how about you?" said Andrea, addressing her last comment to Jenny.

"Good idea."

They both tried not to grin as they left, all four men having the same indignant expressions on their faces at the comment.

Nathan shook his head.

"Well, it could have been worse." he said and Chris looked at him.

"How?"

"Nikki could have been here as well."

Chris winced and nodded.

"Good point." He glanced over at Dean and Sam. "You haven't got any sisters, have you?"

"No, just us two." said Dean and Chris grinned ruefully.

"Consider yourself lucky. Nikki tends to work on the assumption that we're both idiots and loves to point that out to, well, pretty much everyone. If she was here those three wouldn't give any of us a moment's peace."

"Sounds fun. At least I only have to put up with one person doing that." said Sam and Dean put on a wounded look.

"Now come on – I don't tell everyone you're an idiot. Some people are quick enough to work it out for themselves."

As he tried to dodge yet another elbow Dean reminded himself that baiting Sam was definitely a sport enjoyed better from a distance.

"Hey, I don't suppose you'd feel like showing me that car of yours before we eat, would you? I'd love a closer look." said Chris and Dean nodded enthusiastically.

"Sure, no problem."

As they both stood up Sam exchanged a long suffering look with Nathan.

"Looks like we're gonna get most of the food then. They'll be out there till at least next Thanksgiving."

"More for us, right?" said Nathan, grinning.

As he and Chris reached the door Dean turned and pointed at Sam.

"Play nicely now, Sam." he said with a smirk, ducking out before his brother could throw anything at him.

Sam shook his head and gave Nathan an apologetic look.

"And you were probably hoping for a nice, quiet Thanksgiving, I bet."

Nathan laughed.

"With Chris here? Not a chance. You know, I may be the oldest but I think we must have the opposite relationship to you two. He loves nothing more than to try and embarrass me, even at our age. You'd think he'd grow out of it at some point."

Sam smiled.

"I don't think Dean will ever grow out of it." he said, the smile faltering only slightly as the thought flashed through his mind that he might not get the chance to find out.

"Still, they keep life interesting, don't they?" said Nathan and Sam's smile became fond.

"Yeah, there is that."

"Since those two are gonna be out there a while, you'll excuse me if I indulge my nosiness for a minute - Mom said you guys travel around a lot with your work, is that right?"

Sam nodded.

"Yeah, we usually go where the jobs are so it's easiest that way."

"So do you have a base you work out of? Like an office somewhere?"

"Actually, no. We sort of grew up moving around a lot when our Dad was working, so we're just used to it I guess."

Nathan nodded, looking impressed.

"Wow, you have my admiration, seriously. I mean don't get me wrong, I love my brother, but there's no way we'd last five minutes actually working together let alone living in the same place well. You two must really get along."

Sam smiled softly.

"Most of the time. We have our moments, but in all honesty it's not a problem for us. Maybe it's because we grew up like that, it just seems normal really. Not that Dean doesn't drive me crazy sometimes but I really wouldn't change it. Even if it took me a little while to realise that." he said, adding the last part almost to himself.

"That's really nice. I hope you don't mind me mentioning it, but Mom said that your Dad died a little while ago. That must be tough." said Nathan, sympathetically.

"Yeah, it is. Especially for Dean, the two of them were really close."

"More so than the two of you?"

Sam shrugged and gave a half smile.

"I guess so. Dad and I had different ways of looking at things. He was pretty single minded about the work we do and he wanted both of us to follow in his footsteps. I was never as keen and when I got into college, let's just say it didn't go down too well. We made up before he died though, which I'm glad about."

Nathan nodded.

"What were you studying at college?"

"Law."

"That's certainly a bit different to being a PI. What made you go back into the family business?"

Sam thought back to that night at Stanford.

"It's kinda complicated. Dean showed up needing my help on something, and then around the same time my girlfriend died. After that I needed to get away for a while so I went with him and that was it really."

"I'm sorry to hear that. You never considered going back?"

"At first, sometimes. But the more time went on and the more stuff happened – thing is, some of the jobs we do can be a bit dangerous and I just couldn't stand the idea of Dean being out there doing it alone. At least if I'm there I can watch his back. Besides, like I said before it's actually been kinda nice travelling round together again and the truth is I just don't want to go back now. Too much has changed."

Nathan nodded understandingly.

"Sounds like you've been through a lot."

Sam gave a rueful smile.

"You could say that."

Nathan looked embarrassed suddenly and chuckled.

"I'm sorry, I'm sitting here giving you the third degree and you were just looking for some peace and quiet during the holidays. I'm afraid I tend to be kinda nosey, Jenny's always telling me to lay off on the twenty questions."

Sam laughed.

"Don't worry about it. I'd be pretty curious too if I was in your place. Must be a little odd having two complete strangers turn up at your parents for Thanksgiving."

Nathan shook his head.

"Nah, not at all. Mom and Dad have always been the kind to 'adopt' people. They've mentioned you guys before, since the first time they met you, and you sounded normal enough for us not to be worried."

Sam laughed outright at that.

"Oh man, I don't think anyone's ever actually called us normal before – Dean'll love that."

Outside meanwhile Chris was whistling appreciatively as Dean turned on the Impala's engine and they listened to her rumble.

"That is one sweet noise. She really is a beautiful car, you must put in a lot of work to keep her in this condition."

Dean smiled proudly.

"Yeah, but I don't mind. We had an accident a while back and I had to rebuild her, but she's actually better than ever now. You can't beat the classics."

"Absolutely. I had an old Camaro when I was younger, a 69. Not in as good a condition as this but I loved it. Course once I got married and the boys came along we needed something a little bigger and more practical. Broke my heart the day I had to sell her though."

Dean looked sympathetic.

"I hear you. I could never part with my baby. She'll probably end up in Sam's hands one day but I've already told him I'll haunt his ass if he doesn't treat her right."

Chris grinned.

"Least that won't be a problem for a while yet."

Dean gave a fake smile.

"Of course."

He wondered what the other man would think if he knew it was something they'd actually be facing in a few months time.

"So you said Sam's not as into cars as you?" said Chris, leaning over to get a better look under the hood.

"Yeah. Dad was a mechanic for a while before he set up the business and I kinda inherited the gene I guess. I tried to teach Sam the basics but past that it just goes straight in one ear and out the other side. He loves her really though, you just won't get him to admit it out loud."

Chris laughed.

"He sounds like Nathan. They're probably in there right now, comparing sob stories."

"Probably." said Dean with a grin.

"You must get along well enough mind you, working together. You travel a lot too, don't you?"

Dean nodded.

"Yeah, it's easier for the jobs that way. It can be tough sometimes but mostly we really don't find it a problem. It's been just the two of us since we were kids, what with our Dad working so much, so we're used to it. It's kinda nice actually, although don't tell Sam I said that."

"My lips are sealed, don't worry. I admire you, I really do. I love Nathan but no way could we spend that much time together. You guys are lucky."

Dean smiled softly.

"Yeah, in some ways we are."

He switched off the engine and shut the hood. As they headed back inside Chris looked amused.

"You know I guarantee by now Nathan has your entire life story."

"What do you mean?"

"My brother has something of an inquisitive nature. I think he gets it off Mom, although don't tell her I said that. Ever since he was little he's loved asking questions. Drove us mad sometimes. Jenny's told countless stories of how she's stood there, mortified, as he's grilled someone they've just met about their entire history. He'd probably be good in your job actually."

Dean grinned.

"Sounds like it." he said, hoping that Sam wasn't having too much trouble sticking to their cover story.

As they went in Nathan looked up, slightly guiltily, and Chris shook his head.

"You did, didn't you?"

"What?" said Nathan, looking innocent.

"You gave poor Sam the third degree."

Nathan blushed.

"I wouldn't go that far. Right, Sam?"

Sam nodded.

"Right."

Chris rolled his eyes.

"Uh-huh. Looks like there's some solidarity going on here. We'd best watch out."

Before Dean could answer the kitchen door swung open and Jean stuck her head through.

"If you boys want some breakfast you'd best get in here before it's all gone." she said, grinning.

She didn't have to ask them twice. Moments later all the adults were seated round the big kitchen table, the two children sitting at a smaller picnic table Toby had set up especially for them.

As Jean handed out the food to everyone Dean caught Sam's eye and gave him a questioning look. Sam gave a slight nod that everything was ok and further communication was interrupted as conversation started to fly back and forth.

Everyone started eating and Dean and Sam sat back, content to let the family do the talking for now. Dean made a note to ask Sam later how it gone with Nathan, given what Chris had said about his enquiring nature.

He really hoped they were going to make it through the day without any slip ups.


	5. Chapter 5

"I was eight years old, Nate – how was I supposed to know it would do that?"

Chris's indignant comment only made his brother, and everyone else round the table, laugh harder. Nathan was the first to eventually manage to get himself under control and he shook his head, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand.

"Oh, man – I can still see the look on your face. It really was priceless."

"Now, Nathan, stop tormenting your brother. I'm sure there's plenty of stories he could tell if he had a mind to." said Jean, trying not to look as amused as everyone else.

"You know, Mom, that's a very good point." said Chris, an evil glint appearing in his eye.

"Actually, what about you guys? I'm sure you must have plenty of embarrassing stories you wouldn't mind sharing." said Nathan, hastily, looking across the table to Dean and Sam.

Dean glanced sideways at Sam with a grin and Sam held his hand up.

"Ok, you can quit giving me that look, Dean. You might wanna remember I got just as many stories about you as you have about me."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that, Sammy – I had a couple of extra years to store them up, remember?"

"Am I going to have to remind you as well to be nice to your brother?" said Jean, warningly, and Dean looked innocent.

"Of course not. I'm always nice to him, right Sam?"

"Define 'nice'?"

Chris and Nathan laughed at that.

"Now this definitely sounds familiar. Seriously though, there must be something that's not too bad."

Dean looked thoughtful.

"Well, there was the hair gel incident." he said and Chris leaned forward interestedly.

"Oh yes?"

Sam frowned then his eyes widened.

"Oh come on, you can't still be going on about that – I was twelve, Dean."

"Yeah, and it was six stitches, Sam." Dean replied, smirking as Sam blushed a little.

"Ok, now you definitely have to tell us – six stitches?" said Nathan and Dean nodded.

"Yep. See we were living in Ohio in this rented house for a while and the bedroom Sam and I were sharing was on the ground floor. So one day Sam was being all geeky and doing his homework,"

Dean moved out of the way as Sam attempted to knee him for the 'geeky' comment, carrying on without even breaking his flow.

"And I was outside, like most normal teenagers would have been. Anyway, I was messing around with this old baseball we had, throwing it against the wall and catching it again. I didn't really pay much attention to which wall I was using but it was actually the one that backed onto the bedroom. So Sam here comes storming out after about half an hour and tells me to quit throwing the ball cos it's driving him crazy and he's trying to concentrate."

"So what did you do?" asked Nathan, even though he had a fair idea what the answer would be, and Dean grinned.

"I carried on. Next thing I know the window opens and something comes flying out. I didn't even have time to duck, it totally took me by surprise. This thing hits me right in the head, just about my left eyebrow, and suddenly I'm on the floor with blood pouring everywhere."

"Oh it was not everywhere." said Sam, feeling himself getting redder. "Besides, if you'd ducked then it wouldn't have hit you."

Dean raised his eyebrows.

"Of course, clearly it was my fault for not expecting to see something coming at my head at eighty miles an hour."

Chris laughed.

"So what was it?"

"It was a pot of gel that Sam insisted using on his girly hairstyle at the time. Course you know what head wounds are like, it just wouldn't stop bleeding. I gotta admit I actually felt kinda sorry for him – when he saw what had happened he took it worse than I did."

"I did not! I just felt bad, cos it was bleeding so much. I never actually meant to hit you, I just wanted you to knock it off. When Dad came home and said you were gonna need stitches I was mortified." Sam said, ruefully.

"Yeah, I remember. You just kept saying sorry over and over until I told you to shut up cos you were giving me a headache. Dad just thought the whole thing was funny, he could see you'd learned your lesson and he did tell me I should have stopped the first time you came out."

"Which you should have."

"Hey, I didn't know you were gonna get all Batman on me."

Nathan chuckled.

"Well, I can see now I musta had it easy after all. I don't think Chris ever left me needing stitches." he said and Sam looked even more embarrassed.

"It was a lucky shot – I really wasn't intending to actually do him any damage."

"See, he says that now," said Dean, putting on a wounded look, and Sam felt what little blood remained below his neck give up the fight and join it's friends in his face.

Dean couldn't keep it up though, not with Sam looking quite so mortified, and he put one hand on his brother's shoulder.

"I gotta admit, in Sam's defence, I really don't think he did mean to leave me with stitches. It was just one of those fluky shots. I wish we'd had a video camera though, cos the look on his face when I went down. I think he spent the next month trying to make it up to me."

"Yeah, which you totally didn't take advantage of or anything." said Sam, feeling a little of the heat leave his face.

"Of course not."

Chris shared a long suffering look with Sam.

"Right, cos that's not something big brothers do."

Nathan raised his eyebrows.

"Oh now you're ganging up on us? You might want to reconsider that move, bro, I'm sure Dean and I could dig out the more embarrassing stories if you really want us to?" he said, looking from Chris to Sam and back again.

Jean held up her hands.

"Alright, enough – no one will be embarrassing anyone, do I make myself clear?"

Four sets of eyes swung in her direction and immediately attempted to look innocent. She bit the inside of her cheek to stop herself laughing although Toby didn't even bother, simply chuckling and shaking his head.

"You know compared to you four, my sister and I look like the Brady Bunch." said Andrea and Jenny nodded.

"Same here. My brother and I used to fight but we definitely never landed each other in the ER."

Nathan shrugged.

"You obviously just didn't have the imagination we did." he said, dodging the elbow that came his way.

"Either that or a small thing called maturity." she retorted. "No offence." she added, looking over at Dean and Sam with a grin.

"None taken."

"Alright, why don't you all go and find something to do while I make a start on dinner. Unless no one wants to eat before midnight?" said Jean.

"Do you need some help clearing this up?" asked Sam, as everyone stood, and Jean shook her head.

"No, I'll be fine." she replied.

"We'll stay here and give you a hand anyway – that way we don't have to listen to more of their stories." said Andrea, inclining her head towards the men.

"Definitely." agreed Jenny, picking up some of the plates.

Before anyone could reply Thomas suddenly exclaimed excitedly.

"Look, look – it's snowing!"

The adults joined him at the window and saw it had indeed snowed while they were eating breakfast. It was falling fairly heavily and there was already a good few inches on the ground.

"Well, I'll be - it's setting in early this year." said Toby.

"Can we go outside, Mom? Please?" said Thomas, looking up at Andrea pleadingly.

"I suppose so. But you'll need to put on those anoraks you keep here." she said and Thomas literally bounced with excitement.

"I'll get em." said Toby, heading for the cupboard in the hall. "Reckon we've got enough waterproofs for the bigger kids as well."

"Did we just get insulted?" said Chris and Nathan nodded.

"I think so."

He looked over at Dean and Sam.

"So, do you want to join us? We could show the kids a thing or two about how to really make a proper snowman."

Dean nodded, looking only slightly less excited than Thomas had.

"I'm in. Sam?"

Sam rolled his eyes but Dean's excitement was infectious.

"Sure, if you promise not to start chucking snowballs like last time."

"Would I?" said Dean, acting as if the thought would never occur to him.

"Actually we should probably watch out for Sam. Sounds like he's got one hell of an aim." said Nathan, looking amused, and Sam ducked his head, nudging Dean with his shoulder.

"Thanks for that. You do realise I'm never gonna live it down?"

Dean just grinned.

Once they were all wrapped up in the endless supply of waterproofs Toby had managed to bring out of the cupboard, they headed outside. The air was cool and crisp, and the flakes that still fell were thick and fluffy.

The two young boys ran around excitedly for about ten minutes, making the adults laugh at their sheer joy. When they finally slowed down Nathan announced that they should have a snowman building competition – oldest versus youngest. They quickly split up into two teams, Nathan, Dean and Thomas on one side and Chris, Sam and Christopher on the other. Toby was designated the judge and got to observe the mayhem from the porch, where he sat himself down comfortably.

It had to be said that both teams took the whole thing extremely seriously. They found spots a good distance apart and before any building even took place there was a whispered discussion that involved lots of suspicious glances towards the rival team. When they did finally start the actual construction, both thought large.

As Toby watched with growing amusement he wondered if there would be enough snow for them to actually complete what were clearly going to be giant snowmen. The time flew as they worked, none of them even noticing when after about an hour the snow actually stopped falling. Both snowmen were equal in height when the perfectly rounded heads were rolled on, leaving just the serious task of decoration. Dean and Sam were in charge of that and both ventured into the woods that bordered the house, coming back with armfuls of pine cones and several long twigs. By the time the two boys had been lifted high enough to add the finishing touches to the faces Toby was seriously impressed.

He came down off the porch, making a show of inspecting both snowmen thoroughly. They each stood about as tall as him with pine cones for eyes, nose, mouth and buttons. The younger team's also had some red and gold leaves, dug out from under the snow, arranged round it's neck like a colourful scarf. The other's meanwhile held two large sticks, as if skiing.

Toby stood back and frowned as if deep in thought. Finally he shook his head.

"Ok, I gotta say – it's a draw."

There were exclamations of disappointment from both teams but he wouldn't be dissuaded and finally they had to grudgingly accept his decision. As they admired each other's handiwork Sam suddenly yelped as a handful of freezing cold snow hit him right in the ear. He whirled round to see Dean innocently looking the other way.

"Oh, you wanna play do you?" said Sam and Dean looked at him, his mouth twitching.

"I have no idea what you mean, Sam." he said, watching warily as Sam bent down and began to gather snow in his hands.

"Now boys," Toby began but it was clearly too late as Nathan also yelled as he was suddenly hit in the back of the head by a snowball. When he turned round Chris held his hands up and pointed at Thomas, who looked indignant.

"It wasn't me, uncle Nate!" he said, stepping away from his father as Nathan began to gather his own handful of snow.

"Oh hell." said Toby, quickly stepping out of the firing line and back onto the porch.

It was the shrieking and yelling that attracted the attention of the girls in the kitchen, and they came out to see what on earth was going on. They were greeted with the sight of a complete free for all, kids and adults tearing round the front yard slipping on the compacted snow and hurling snowballs at anything they could hit. As they watched Nathan jumped on Chris and shoved handfuls of snow down the back of his brother's shirt, Thomas and Christopher looking on and giggling so hard they were going red in the face. Sam meanwhile was literally stalking Dean, both hands holding snowballs, with an evil grin on his face. Dean backed up towards the woods, his hands held up in surrender.

"Now, Sammy, lets not get overexcited here, ok? I can't help it if I'm a good shot."

"I'll give you good shot." said Sam, who felt like he had half an igloo unpleasantly melting down his shirt.

"Sam, come on. Sam, seriously. Sammy!"

Dean was running now, his boots slipping and sliding on the snow as he tried to get away from Sam. His brother's long legs were giving him the advantage though, coupled with the fact Dean was having trouble trying not to laugh at the look of sheer determination on Sam's face.

Toby felt Jean put her arm round his waist and he put his arm round her shoulders, looking down at her.

"Look how happy they are." she whispered, her voice cracking slightly, and he knew she wasn't referring to their own sons.

"I know." he said softly, wishing he could somehow freeze this moment in time for them.

"Hey! A little help here!" yelled Dean at that moment, as he tried to fight off Sam's onslaught.

Nathan and Thomas quickly ran over, yelling a war cry and pelting Sam with snow.

"No fair!" Sam managed to get out, just before he ended up with a mouthful of snow. But he had his own cavalry coming as Chris and Christopher joined the fray, evening out the odds.

Soon all six of them were covered in snow and so convulsed with laughter that they couldn't stand up, let alone throw anything.

Andrea and Jenny were clinging to the railing, holding their ribs and wiping their eyes at the antics of their husbands and their new friends.

Jean shook her head, wiping away her own bittersweet tears and deciding to take control.

"Alright, boys! That's enough – you all come in now and get out of those wet things, you hear?"

All six of them looked up guiltily and immediately straightened up, trying to look as if they hadn't just been rolling around in the snow. As they made their way over there were a few last minutes hits that ended abruptly under Jean's attempt at a glare.

They trooped up the steps and quickly took off soaking wet boots, which Toby took through to put in front of the fire, shaking the snow off of their jackets and out of their hair.

Toby took the jackets to hang up in the shed and Jean handed out warm towels, Jenny and Andrea taking care of the children while the slightly older kids managed to dry themselves. Jean made them all change their clothes, Dean and Sam digging fresh ones out of their bags upstairs and Nathan and Chris finding some old stuff of theirs that had been left behind on previous visits. None of them looked quite as smart as they had that morning but it had been worth it. As they went back downstairs Sam looked at Dean's smiling face and relaxed posture and felt a surge of warmth that had little to do with the dry clothes he was now wearing.

This was what they had come here for. This was what they had both needed, but Dean especially. He loved seeing his brother like this, just having fun. It made him seem younger, the way he should have been if a lifetime of responsibility and duty hadn't been loaded on his shoulders for so many years.

Dean sensed he was being watched and looked up, frowning as he saw Sam's slightly sappy expression.

"What?" he said and Sam immediately wiped the look off his face, knowing Dean wouldn't appreciate the 'moment'.

"Nothing."

Dean didn't quite believe him but he let it go. Knowing Sam he'd probably been thinking something schmaltzy.

Sometimes it was best not to ask.

They went and stood in the lounge, warming themselves in front of the fire. A few moments later Nathan and Chris came down as well, and all four of them looked up as Jean opened the kitchen door.

"Come on now, dinner's ready." she said and they followed her through into the kitchen.

Jenny and Andrea were already sat down, Lori still fast asleep in her carry cot next to her Mom, and the boys were sat at their own little table again. But it was the sight of the adult's table that made Dean stop in his tracks.

He'd never seen anything like it.

_A/N I have to give credit for the hair gel story to Ziggy, who had more or less that exact thing happen with her two boys a few weeks ago (although they are a lot older than Dean & Sam were!) I must confess that as soon as she told me about it, I thought immediately of how it would be great to fit it into an SN story. So I did! I just hope her sons don't mind too much.. _


	6. Chapter 6

Dean actually stood there for so long that Sam nudged him from behind.

"Hey – you ok?" said Sam, peering round and trying to see what had his brother so mesmerised.

"Huh? Uh, yeah, sorry." said Dean, blushing as he realised he'd been looking at the table with his mouth open. Fortunately nobody besides Sam seemed to have noticed.

Sam frowned but didn't say anything, following as Dean finally made his way over and sat down.

Jean and Toby both sat at either end of the table. On one side was Nathan, Jenny and Dean, and on the other Chris, Andrea and Sam. As he got a good look at all the food Sam suddenly had an idea of just what it was that had grabbed Dean's attention so much.

In the middle, on a large plate, was the biggest Turkey Sam had ever seen. It glistened a golden brown and he found his mouth watering just at the sight of it. Surrounding the magnificent bird were dishes containing everything you could think of; corn dripping with butter, stuffing to go with the turkey, yams, cranberry sauce, mashed potatoes, gravy, green beans and rolls hot from the oven.

Sam was actually surprised the table was still standing.

Sitting in the midst of all that was two large white candles which were already lit, the holders they stood in each filled with pine cones and leaves of red and gold from the woods outside. All of this was on top of a tablecloth of pristine white, set with what were clearly Jean's best plates and cutlery. Sam met Dean's gaze across the table and couldn't stop the huge smile that broke out at the fact they were sitting in the middle of what was quite possibly the most traditional Thanksgiving ever. Dean rolled his eyes slightly but couldn't help smiling back. He'd never imagined they'd experience anything like this and yet here they were, being made to feel as much a part of it as everyone else who was sat there.

He couldn't quite describe how it felt.

Toby stood up and, with some ceremony, picked up the large carving knife and began to carve the massive turkey. Plates were passed back and forth until soon everyone had a huge pile of food in front of them. The conversation was relaxed, not that anyone really had that much time to talk given how much food there was to get through. Even Dean was struggling by the time he finished.

His plate empty at last, he sat back taking a sip of the wine he and Sam had bought the couple. They'd insisted on using it for the meal, much to their embarrassment. Dean was relieved to find it was actually quite good, not having had much experience when it came to picking wine.

He watched Sam laughing at something Chris had just said and he smiled softly. This was how he'd imagined Sam's 'normal' life to be. His brother was in his element, at ease with the whole thing in a way Dean couldn't quite manage. But that didn't matter, because as long as Sam was there then Dean found he could relax most of the way. He felt at home when it was the two of them, and however sappy that sounded in his head, the truth was it gave him the chance to sit back and enjoy the experience almost as much as Sam was doing. Plus he actually didn't feel as self concious as he'd expected. Jean and Toby had always gone out of their way to make them feel at home, right from the beginning, and their sons were as generous as they were.

For the briefest of moments Dean wished this could last forever.

Sam glanced over at him and inclined his head, silently asking if everything was alright in that way he had. Dean gave a half smile and nodded slightly. Sam watched him for a second or two longer then turned back to listen to something Andrea was saying.

At that moment Lori woke up and started crying.

"Uh-oh, looks like someone else is wanting their dinner." said Jenny, picking her up and taking her into the other room.

Jean and Toby began to clear the plates, refusing any help, and Dean turned his attention to Nathan as he actually asked him about the car, even though he admitted he wouldn't know one end from the other. Out of the corner of his eye Dean saw Sam grimace and kicked him lightly out of the table, hearing Chris laugh as Sam's grimace became a wince and an evil look was thrown his way.

They were just debating the merits of Camaro versus Impala when Jenny came back in. Lori was no longer crying now, instead looking around with wide eyes, taking in everything.

"Here you go, say hello to Daddy for a moment." said Jenny, handing her to Nathan so she could go to the bathroom.

Nathan jiggled the baby lightly on his knee, everyone smiling as Lori found this amusing.

"I'd go easy on the jiggling, Nate, unless you want to be changing again today." said Chris dryly and Nathan wisely slowed it down a little.

Suddenly he looked up at Dean.

"Would you like to hold her?" he said and Dean looked like a rabbit caught in headlights.

"Oh, no, no that's ok. You're doing great there." he said hastily and Nathan grinned.

"She won't bite you know." he said.

"You hope." said Chris, earning himself a glare from his brother.

"You'd love a hold, wouldn't you, Dean?" said Sam innocently, smirking when Dean narrowed his gaze at him.

"Here you go." said Nathan, making the decision for him and handing her over.

Dean froze for a moment, then it kind of came back to him. The last baby he'd held had been Sam but it wasn't something you really forgot. As he got comfortable with the weight, Lori looked up at him with her eyes wide. She made a grab for his amulet, missing by a mile, making little noises as she tried again. Dean reached out and took hold of her hand, not wanting her to end up strangling him with it, and she automatically grabbed on to his finger. He stopped, lost in the moment for a second as she looked up at him and suddenly smiled.

Sam watched all this with a lump in his throat, seeing for a moment an alternate reality where Dean had got to have a family of his own. Suddenly it was too much.

"Uh, would you excuse me a second?" he said, almost knocking his chair over he stood so quickly.

As he disappeared through the kitchen door Dean watched him with concern, not sure what was wrong but knowing something was. He couldn't exactly move right then though, but Nathan too had sensed something wasn't right and he stood up.

"I'm just gonna get something from the car. I'll be back in a minute." he said, giving Dean a quick nod as he went.

Dean would have preferred to go himself but he reflected that maybe it might be better for once, for Sam to have someone else to talk to. Especially if it was what he thought it was that had upset his brother so much. Turning his attention back to the baby he began to wave her hand about and pull faces, making her giggle, all the while with half his attention still on the kitchen door.

Sam breathed in great gulps of the cool evening air, waiting for his heart to stop pounding. He knew his exit had probably gained some attention, not least from Dean, but he couldn't help it. Watching his brother with the baby like that, so at ease with the whole thing, had just brought everything to the surface again. He closed his eyes for a second.

"You ok?"

He jumped when he heard a voice, opening them again and turning to see Nathan standing in the doorway.

He blushed.

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine. Just got a bit hot, that's all."

Nathan nodded and came over to stand beside him against the railing. He looked up, seeing the stars just beginning to come out in the darkening sky.

"Dean's never had any kids, no?" he asked casually after a moment and Sam shook his head.

"No." he said, even though Ben's face appeared in his mind briefly.

"He seems pretty comfortable holding a baby."

Sam smiled.

"He had a lot of experience holding me. Without our Mom and with our Dad working so much Dean did most of the raising in my case." he said.

Nathan nodded.

"Guess that makes even more sense, how close the two of you are. I hope you don't mind me asking you something?" he said and Sam looked a little wary but shook his head anyway.

"No – go on."

"You seem worried, about Dean I mean. Is everything ok? I'm not being nosey, it's just if it's something we could help with.." he let the sentence tail off unfinished but Sam understood the meaning and was touched.

"That's very kind of you. There's nothing wrong, not really, it's just."

He stopped, knowing he couldn't explain exactly what it was but wondering if he could maybe go halfway.

Nathan watched him, waiting patiently, and Sam came to a decision.

"It's just the job really. Some of the work we do, it can be dangerous. The things we come across can be pretty nasty and Dean always puts himself out there first, you know? He does the whole big brother thing and tries to protect me, and no matter how much I tell him I'm a big boy now he just won't stop. It scares me sometimes. I worry that he's gonna get himself hurt."

Nathan nodded understandingly.

"I'm afraid if you're wanting him to stop, there's not much chance of it. Speaking as a big brother it's not something you can just switch off. I mean Chris is a grown man, he has a family of his own, but he's still my little brother and always will be. And if someone came after him I'd be the first to stand in their way. It's just one of those things."

Sam sighed.

"I know, I just wish he wouldn't risk himself to do it. Sometimes I feel like I'm still a little kid he has to look after. I'd just like to be able to return the favour, that's all."

Nathan was quiet for a moment, as if thinking, before he spoke.

"You know what? I bet you do more than you think."

Sam looked at him.

"What do you mean?"

"I'm gonna tell you something but I'd appreciate it if you kept it between us. Chris is the only other person who knows this and I don't want to worry Mom or Dad, or Jenny, since it's in the past."

Sam nodded and Nathan continued.

"A few years back I was kind of struggling a little. I had a stressful job, I hadn't yet met Jenny, and I was working day and night. I was living in a different place too, so I wasn't seeing my family much and I'd had no time to make friends. Anyway, I started drinking a little. Not much, just at weekends since I had to drive during the week. I told myself it wasn't a problem, it wasn't like I was drinking every day or needing it when I first woke up or any of those other clichés. So one day Chris surprised me with a visit, came by for the weekend. We talked about nothing much really, just the usual stuff, but on the second day he was there he suddenly sat me down and asked what was wrong. I told him nothing, other than being overworked, but he wouldn't have it. He just went on and on until he got me to admit that I wasn't drinking at the weekends because I wanted it. I was doing it because I needed it. That fuzzy feeling of being outside it all, of being outside your problems. We talked some more and he told me he thought I was depressed. I hadn't even considered that but when I looked at it I realised he was right. I never enjoyed anything anymore, it was like walking around in a black cloud. He made me make an appointment to see my doctor before he left and he phoned me, every day, right up until the moment I quit my job and moved nearer home."

Sam looked surprised.

"Sounds like he got there just in time." he said and Nathan nodded.

"He did. You ask him about it and he'll say it was nothing, but that's not true. He was the only one who knew me well enough to see past the act I was putting on for everyone. Even my on-off girlfriend at that time didn't know. That's the thing about siblings, you know each other better than anyone. If it hadn't been for him, who knows if it might have got worse or if I'd have ever gone to someone for help. The reason I'm telling you this is because maybe you're doing a lot more than you think you are. Sometimes you can't always see just what a difference you really do make to someone else's life."

Sam thought about it and wondered if maybe it was true. He really hoped it was.

They both turned round as they heard the door open. Sam wasn't surprised to see Dean come out.

"Jean says the pie is gonna get cold if the two of you don't hurry up." he said and Nathan grinned.

"Well, I don't need telling twice when it comes to Mom's pie." he said. "I'll see you boys inside."

As he went to go Sam grabbed his arm.

"Thanks." he said quietly and Nathan smiled at him.

"No problem."

Dean waited until Nathan was inside then turned to look at Sam.

"So you gonna tell me what all that was about?"

Sam shrugged.

"Nothing really. It's just a bit much, you know?" he said, waving a hand towards the house. "I guess it just got to me for a second."

Dean nodded, understanding.

"You ok now?"

Sam nodded.

"Yeah, I'm good."

"Well what are we standing here for then?" demanded Dean and Sam chuckled.

"You're right, come on – I can't possibly keep you out here when there's pie."

"Damn straight." said Dean, heading inside with Sam behind him.

The rest of the evening passed too quickly. The pumpkin pie was, predictably, the best they'd ever tasted and they'd insisted on washing up afterwards since Jean had gone to so much trouble. Unable to resist the determination of the four of them, Jean had to give in and had retired to the lounge with Toby, Andrea and Jenny to enjoy some time with her grandchildren.

Dean and Sam had washed while Nathan and Chris dried and put away, given they knew where everything went. Dean had never imagined he'd enjoy something as mundane as washing up, but there in Jean and Toby's kitchen, joking around with Nathan and Chris, it had felt like home.

Once they were done they'd made coffee and joined everyone else in the other room. It was Nathan who reluctantly suggested leaving first.

"We'd best get this one home before it gets too late." he said, gesturing to Lori who was asleep again in her carry cot. "She'll have us up at 4:00, if not before."

Everyone stood up, Jean going to the kitchen to get them some leftovers to take with them.

"It was lovely meeting you." said Jenny, hugging first Sam then Dean.

"You too." said Dean, forcing himself not to appear too awkward.

Nathan shook both their hands as Jenny hugged everyone else goodbye.

"It'd be great to see you again – let us know next time you're visiting Mom & Dad." he said and Sam nodded.

"That'd be nice."

"You take care of yourselves." he said, sharing a significant look with Sam as he said it.

"We will." said Sam, smiling gratefully.

Everyone waved them off and then it was Chris's turn.

"I think these two are just about asleep so we'd better head off too." he said, glancing at the two boys who were leaning against each other on the sofa, eyes half closed.

As Jean and Toby helped Andrea get them in the car Chris turned to Dean and Sam.

"So you'll definitely call next time you're in the area?" he said, genuinely, and Dean grinned.

"Absolutely. It'd make a nice change to talk about my baby with someone who understands." he said, dodging Sam's attempt to elbow him.

Chris laughed.

"No problem. In fact I might get you to let me take her out for a test drive next time."

Dean grinned as Chris shook hands with both of them and they stood beside Toby and Jean waving till the car was out of sight. It was a shame he probably wouldn't see them again, since they'd turned out to be so nice. Still, it made him feel a little better to know that at least Sam would have the chance to come back in the future. Maybe he'd even be able to tell them the truth, one day.

"So did you boys have fun?" said Toby as they walked back inside and Dean nodded enthusiastically.

"Definitely. You have a great family, we really appreciate you letting us be part of it." he said and Jean put her arm through his.

"You are part of it, we keep telling you. I'm glad you got along with Nathan and Chris so well, we just knew you would."

Just then Dean yawned.

"I think I'll go on up." he said and Sam nodded.

"Me too. It really was a great day, thank you." he said and Toby and Jean smiled at both of them.

"You're more than welcome. We'll see you in the morning – you boys sleep well, now." she said, giving them both a quick hug.

"Goodnight." said Toby.

"Night."

Upstairs Sam struggled to stay awake while Dean showered first, stumbling his way through his own when it was finally his turn.

When he got back in the room Dean was already under the covers, seemingly asleep. Sam folded his clothes on the chair and turned out the light, opening the curtains and looking up at the stars shining brightly in the sky for a moment.

He got into his own bed with a happy sigh, relaxing into the amazingly comfortable mattress again. He would be sad to leave it behind again when they left in the morning.

He was about to close his eyes when Dean's voice startled him.

"I'm glad we came."

Sam looked over, seeing his brother was still facing the wall. The fact that he'd spoken was the only indication he was even awake.

"Me too." he said truthfully, smiling to himself as he recalled the day's events.

"It was good to have a real Thanksgiving, for the last one." said Dean softly and Sam's smile faded slightly.

"Sam?" Dean said after a few minutes, when Sam hadn't answered.

"Yeah. Goodnight then." said Sam, not really wanting to continue the conversation now Dean had reminded him of his position on the whole thing once more.

Dean frowned a little in the darkness at Sam's tone of voice but didn't push it.

"Goodnight, Sammy."

Sam felt his eyes sting slightly and closed them.

This wasn't going to be Dean's last Thanksgiving.

It just wasn't.

_A/N I owe a huge thanks to bhoney for the wonderfully in depth info she gave me on Thanksgiving and its traditions, especially since I knew precisely nothing before then other than it occurred in November! Any mistakes of course are all mine though. One more chapter to go and then we are done..._


	7. Chapter 7

Toby was surprised the next morning to see Sam walk through the door first. Although both boys seemed much less tired than when they'd arrived, this morning Sam looked troubled.

Toby silently poured coffee for both of them and sat down, putting one of the mugs in front of him. Sam smiled his thanks and put his hands round the mug, staring into the liquid lost in thought.

Toby waited patiently, knowing Sam would talk when he was ready. It was a trait both Winchesters shared.

Eventually Sam looked up, slightly apologetic as he realised he'd been sat there quite rudely in silence for the last ten minutes. Toby just gave him a warm look of understanding and Sam felt his throat tighten.

"I don't know what to do."

There. It was the first time he'd admitted to anyone. He'd been so fired up at first, so determined that he'd find a way to fix what Dean had done, that the idea of failing quite simply never occurred. As the weeks went on he'd struggled to deal with Dean's changed attitude, with the hurt he felt when his brother seemed so ready to let go.

To leave him.

Even after Dean had confessed it was because he'd been told Sam would die if he tried to get out of the deal, Sam had still held onto that belief that they would find a way to make it alright.

But now time was marching on and the harder he looked, the less likely it appeared. And he was tired of trying to make Dean fight with him, to force him not to just accept his fate. Lately he was starting to think Dean was right, that there really was no way out.

And it was breaking his heart.

Toby sighed, wishing for possibly the millionth time that he could fix this for them. Never in his life had he met two young men who deserved less what was happening to them. He'd always believed in something, some higher power that watched over everyone, but these days he wasn't so sure. He couldn't imagine any god that would be so cruel as to put such decent people through such pain and suffering.

It wasn't right.

Sam looked up, not sure what to expect, but instead of disappointment or condemnation all he saw was compassion and understanding. He blinked, his coffee suddenly becoming slightly blurry.

"Maybe there's nothing you can do."

Sam's head snapped up at Toby's quiet comment and he shook his head vehemently.

"I won't believe that. I can't! I know what Dean's said, I know what he thinks, but he doesn't understand what he's asking me to do! He couldn't live with me dead – why can't I get him to see that the same goes for me? I'm not asking him to do anything that might undo the deal he made, I'm just asking him to.."

Sam tailed off and Toby leant forward.

"Asking him to what?"

"Fight. I'm just asking him to fight." Sam whispered.

"Sam, I know this is hard. Harder even than anything you boys have faced before. But maybe that's the problem. Maybe Dean doesn't have any fight left. Did you think of that?"

Sam shook his head.

"Dean never gives up. He'll fight with his last breath to save someone innocent, to save me. What I don't understand is why he won't do it for himself."

"I wish I could give you all the answers, but that's something you'd have to ask him for yourself." said Toby gently and Sam gave a slightly bitter laugh.

"Yeah, sure. I'd have more chance of winning the lottery than getting Dean to actually talk about this. I've tried, I've pleaded with him, I've yelled at him. Sometimes I just wanna shake some sense into him, but nothing works. How do you save someone who won't save themselves, Toby? How?" said Sam, his eyes pleading with the older man to somehow give him the magic answer.

Toby swallowed the lump in his own throat and got up, sitting down next to Sam and putting his hand on Sam's shoulder.

"Perhaps you have to stop trying. Now hear me out, I'm not saying stop trying to save Dean." he said, cutting off Sam's protest. "I'm saying stop trying to force Dean to fight with you. Tell me something – all these years, when you were younger, Dean's been the one to take care of everything, am I right?"

Sam nodded.

"He looked out for you? Did everything he could to protect you?"

More nodding.

"I bet sometimes there was stuff he did that you don't even know about, don't you think?"

This time it was a very small nod. Toby squeezed Sam's shoulder.

"Then perhaps this is your chance to repay that. Dean's scared, Sam. He's scared of losing you again. He's scared of what's gonna happen to you when he's gone. He's scared of what's going to happen to him, when it's over. But aside from being scared I think the biggest problem is he's tired. He's been fighting his whole life and now, rightly or wrongly, he sees a way out. He truly does think you will be ok without him, and as frustrating as that is for you I'm not sure you're gonna get him to really change his mind there. So maybe the only thing you can do is fight hard enough for both of you. I know it's gonna be tough, but he needs you to be the strong one now. Keep arguing about it is only hurting you both, so you need to take a step back and just be what he needs right now. His brother."

Sam stared at the table, feeling his throat ache and tears burning behind his eyes. The hardest part of hearing all that was the knowledge that Toby was probably right. He really had tried everything he could to get Dean onside to break this deal, and all it had done was cause an ever widening rift between them. And Sam hated that almost as much as he hated the idea of Dean going to hell. Maybe he had been going about this all wrong. As frustrating as Dean's lack of self belief was, it went so deep that Sam wasn't sure he could undo it, even if he spent a lifetime trying. But Toby was right – Dean had spent his whole life silently and uncomplainingly doing what was best for Sam. Even when Sam didn't always agree with it. Well now it was his turn. It was going to be hard, and it was going to be painful, and it would mean he had to handle all the fear and frustration alone. But he would do it – for Dean. Because he had meant what he'd said before, there was nothing he wouldn't do for his big brother.

He looked up at Toby.

"You're right. If I can't get him to fight then I'm just gonna fight hard enough for both of us. Cos I can't give up. I'll never give up." he said, quiet conviction running through every word.

Toby nodded and smiled.

"I know you won't. And deep down I reckon that brother of yours does too. But at least this way you can still enjoy your time together, without being at each other's throats. It's not the answer I know you want, but it's better than what you've been doing isn't it?"

"Yes, it is."

"Yes what is?" said a voice and Sam turned round to see Dean standing in the doorway. He hoped he hadn't been there long.

"Less likely to snow today. Toby was just saying the roads should have been cleared by now, if it's not all melted overnight anyway."

Dean studied Sam as his brother calmly sipped his coffee. He wasn't completely sure he believed Sam's answer, especially since Toby had been sitting very close and had his hand on Sam's shoulder in what looked like a comforting manner. But clearly Sam wasn't about to elaborate on what they may actually have been discussing and he decided not to pry. After all, he hadn't exactly told Sam every word of the conversation he'd had with Toby the day before.

"Yeah, I reckon we should get a clear run. We're heading south anyway, so it'll be a little warmer."

Sam was relieved when Dean didn't push.

Toby got up and fetched Dean a mug, sitting down in his own chair this time leaving the seat next to Sam for Dean. He too was relieved Dean had accepted Sam's answer, and also glad that he hadn't walked in earlier. He certainly didn't give the appearance of having heard any of what they'd said.

"So do you know exactly where you're headed?" he said and Sam shrugged.

"Not really. There's a possible poltergeist report I saw before we came here, we might check that out. We've still got a while before Christmas so we'll probably fit in one more job at least before we stop for the break."

"You know you're welcome to come back here. You could meet the rest of the family." said Toby. Dean reluctantly shook his head.

"Thanks, but we really should get on. Besides we've imposed enough."

Toby sighed, exasperated.

"How many times do we have to tell you, you're not imposing. You boys are welcome here anytime – for as long as you like."

Sam smiled.

"Thanks, we appreciate it. Dean's right though, we've got work to do." he said, his eyes silently conveying that he meant that in more than one sense.

Toby got the message and inclined his head slightly.

"Well, if you're sure." he said, aloud, and Dean nodded.

"Yeah, we're sure. Hey, we could still do something Christmassy though. I think I'm getting into this holiday thing." he said, aiming the last part at Sam.

Sam looked uncomfortable and sipped his coffee. Just because he'd come to a decision about how to approach the whole deal thing didn't mean he was sure he could cope with another happy, jolly celebration. As nice as this had been, it was still hammering home the idea that perhaps he might be celebrating alone next year. He wasn't sure if he could keep up the brave face through Christmas as well.

He put the thought to one side. Dean had never exactly been into the holidays before, so hopefully he'd have forgotten all about it in a few weeks time.

At that moment Jean came in. She saw them all sitting there and raised her eyebrows.

"You know you three are starting to make me feel lazy. You make it look like I've been wallowing in my bed for hours."

Dean shook his head.

"After all that work you did yesterday, no way anyone could call you lazy, Jean." he said and she smiled fondly at him.

"For that you can have an extra pancake." she said and Dean grinned triumphantly at Sam.

"Suck up." Sam whispered, but his lips twitched as he said it.

Jean was as good as her word and did indeed give Dean an extra pancake, although that wasn't to say Sam didn't have a plateful of his own. They were both utterly and completely full when they'd finished, just like they always were when they visited.

"That really was terrific, Jean. You sure we can't persuade you to come on the road with us?" said Dean, flashing her his most charming smile.

Toby pretended to look affronted.

"Now don't you go trying to tempt my wife away. I'm afraid you boys will just have to visit when you want to sample her cooking."

Dean sighed.

"Oh well, it was worth a shot."

Jean rolled her eyes at the pair of them and took the plates over to the other side of the kitchen.

Dean looked at Sam and motioned his head upstairs. Sam nodded and got up.

"Back in a second."

Toby watched, marvelling as always at their ability to talk without actually saying anything. He figured it must come in handy in their line of work.

Moments later Sam came back, holding something behind his back. He sat down and handed whatever it was to Dean, under the table.

Dean cleared his throat.

"So, uh, we kinda have something we wanted to give you. Just to say thanks for having us and what with us not seeing you guys over Christmas." he said, awkwardly.

"It's just a small something but we thought you'd like it." said Sam, stepping in and giving him a hand.

Jean came back over and stood next to Toby, and Dean brought the package out from under the table and thrust it towards them, letting go like it was red hot. He slouched in his chair, looking slightly embarrassed, while Sam tried not to look too anxious.

"Oh you shouldn't have." said Jean, letting Toby carefully unwrap it. When she saw what it was she gasped, her eyes widening in pleasure as Toby lifted the carving out fully and held it up for them both to admire.

"Oh my goodness – that is beautiful!" she breathed and Toby nodded.

"She's right, that's one amazing piece of craftsmanship. You'd almost think it was real." he said, turning the eagle over to look at the detail on every inch.

"You really like it?" Dean blurted out, before he could stop himself, and he was slightly taken aback when Jean looked at him with eyes that were shining with tears.

"We love it." she said, coming round the table and putting her arms round him before he could react.

"Ok, great." he said, wheezing a little as she squeezed all the air out of his lungs before doing the same to Sam.

Toby nodded, meeting Dean's gaze and giving him a warm smile.

"It's lovely. Thank you, both." he said turning his gaze to Sam. Both Winchesters smiled, slightly shyly.

"You're welcome." muttered Dean, wondering if his face was as red as it felt.

Sensing their embarrassment Toby picked up the eagle and took it through to the lounge to find a home for it, while Jean went back to the other side of the kitchen.

"I'll just make you some sandwiches, for the road." she said and Dean groaned at the thought of more food.

"We keep coming here we're gonna be too fat to chase anything." he said and Jean just shook her head.

"Nonsense, you both need some good meals inside you. I bet you eat nothing but junk usually, am I right?"

Sam suddenly found the table fascinating and Dean squirmed under Jean's look.

"I think I'll go check we packed everything." he said, standing up quickly.

"I'll help." said Sam and Jean chuckled to herself as they both practically ran out of the kitchen.

Twenty minutes later the Impala was packed and two very full paper bags were carefully stored on the back seat, ready for their next break. Aside from the sandwiches Jean was sending them off with the rest of the pumpkin pie and some of the fruit cake they themselves had brought along. Dean figured they had enough to last them the next week.

Jean stood next to Toby, grateful when he put his arm round her. She always hated this bit.

Dean and Sam hated it too, since it seemed to get harder to leave each time they visited. It was even worse for Dean, since he wasn't expecting to visit again, although he kept that thought to himself.

"Well, you boys take care of yourselves now. And don't forget to keep in touch this time. We worry when we don't hear from you." said Toby.

Dean nodded.

"We will. Thanks again for having us, we really did have a lovely time."

Jean nodded, giving a slightly wobbly smile.

"It was our pleasure. I'm glad you both got along so well with Nathan and Chris too – they'll want to see you again I'm sure, next time you're here."

Dean couldn't quite bring himself to answer this time and Sam glanced at him before answering for them.

"We'd love to see them again – it was nice meeting them."

Knowing there was nothing else really to be said, at least not without tears being involved, Jean stepped forward and hugged Sam tightly. Letting go she stood in front of Dean for a moment, a million things running through her head. In the end she said none of them, knowing from the look on Dean's face that he understood what she wanted to say. She held him slightly longer than she had Sam, telling herself that this wasn't the last time she would do so.

"Now I expect to see you back here with your brother, you hear me?" she said fiercely and Dean could do nothing except nod. In the face of Jean's fierce affection he couldn't bring himself to contradict it.

Toby meanwhile shook Sam's hand then quickly hugged him as well.

"Remember what I said." he whispered in Sam's ear and as he stepped back Sam nodded. Dean came over and Toby shook his hand, holding on to it for a moment.

"Don't forget what we talked about." he said and Dean ignored the slightly quizzical look Sam gave him.

"I'll try." he said, which they both knew was the best he could offer right now.

Not wanting to drag it out anymore they both quickly got in the car. Toby had been right about the snow and it only took a few minutes for the windows to de-mist and the wiper blades to clear the half melted ice from the windshield. Leaning out of the window Sam waved and Jean and Toby waved back.

Toby tightened his grip on Jean as they watched the Impala pull away, both Dean and Sam waving until it went around the bend in the drive. Even once it was out of sight they still stood there, listening to the rumble of the engine gradually fade as it left the drive and hit the main road again.

"They'll be back." said Toby after a moment and Jean shuddered, feeling the tears she'd struggled to hold back finally falling.

"You really believe that?" she said and Toby looked down at her with a soft smile.

"Absolutely."

As they walked back inside Jean caught sight of the eagle sitting on the mantle above the fire. She looked at it for a moment. Toby was right – they would see them again.

She simply refused to believe otherwise.


End file.
